The Fandom by Anna Day

Author:Anna Day
Language: eng
Format: epub, mobi
Publisher: Chicken House

I spend the rest of the morning looking for Ash. I scour the estate while the sun lights up the sky all orange and pink, this burning sensation growing in my chest. I finally give up and return to the Imp-hut, the contents of my head turned to pulp.

I push through the door, amazed by how heavy it feels. Nate sits at the table drinking tea next to Matthew. I notice with a pang of jealousy that they’re playing cards.

‘Well?’ Nate says, his face a real mixture of excitement and fear, like he’s just sneaked a horror film past Mum.

‘Nailed it.’ I try to look happy, but I think of Ash’s face peering from the leaves and I just feel like crying.

I roll on to my bunk, let the cotton divider separate me from the world, and I pray for the numbness of sleep. But Nate ducks under the makeshift curtain, his sandy head bobbing into view. He speaks quietly so Matthew won’t hear, but an unfamiliar sharpness hardens his voice. ‘You’ve just pulled Willow . . . why do you look like someone’s died?’

I exhale heavily. ‘It’s just, I don’t know . . . Ash saw.’

‘Saw what?’

‘Me – pulling Willow.’

‘So?’

I cover my eyes with my hands, secretly wishing Katie were here, even Alice. You can’t really talk girl-stuff with your little brother. But right now, he’s my only option. ‘So . . . it felt weird.’

‘Violet, Ash is just some little dweeb who follows you around looking lost and in love. Remember that.’

‘No, you’re thinking of Ash from canon. My Ash is completely different.’

‘Since when was he your Ash?’

‘You know what I mean, this Ash, real Ash.’ I roll on to my front so I can see Nate better. It feels like we’re in a tent, the light sifting through the dirty white divider, contained and safe in our own little pod. ‘He’s so different from canon-Ash, he’s funny and edgy and not in the least bit lost . . . He delivers babies in his spare time.’ Nate opens his mouth to object, but I keep on talking. ‘But you know, part of me wonders if he’s different because I’m so different from Rose, maybe he can be himself with me, maybe I bring out a different side to him, a better side to him. Maybe we’ve just got that thing, you know, that connection.’

‘Oh God,’ Nate says. ‘You’ve fallen for the wrong guy. I knew this was going to happen. The stupid way you gawp at him.’

‘No . . . no . . . it’s just . . .’ I process the end of his sentence. ‘I gawp at him?’

‘Look, sis, you’re Cinderella, and Willow’s Prince Charming and Ash is . . .’

‘Buttons,’ I say. This analogy keeps popping into my brain, especially with the ball so fresh in my memory.

‘Yes. Bloody Buttons.’

‘Nate, don’t swear.’

He shakes his head, irritated. ‘Cinderella does not end up with Buttons. She marries the prince and lives in a palace and – and – she hangs at the Gallows Dance so we can all go home.

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